In my previous column I told you that only 2% of people change their situations when they change the people in their lives. I gave you the short answer, the emotional vs intellectual brain, and clued you in that there was a long answer too.

In this piece we will delve into the beginning of understanding what is at work in our lives that keeps us in situations that don’t serve us well.

Getting our emotional needs met is one of the most powerful drivers in our decision-making process. When we are only in touch with our wants and desires and remain unaware of our needs, our life ceases to make sense to us and those who love us. We are a living contradiction because we make plans, set goals, and talk about our desires for our personal life, yet our decisions and actions aren’t getting us the desired outcome.

We are designed to prioritize getting our emotional needs met first because it is life saving in many instances. When we are unaware of our needs, we will instinctively get them met on path of least resistance even if is in contradiction to our life goals.

Another reason we change names, faces, and places but not circumstances is because we tend to migrate towards that which is familiar. Every person who has had a role in our life has brought with them issues/problems. We all have issues! We Innately developed skills to function in and around these issues. In many instances, our survival depended on these skills.

If you were to apply for a job today, it is unlikely that you would apply for a position that you have zero skills to accomplish. If you are not a trained brain surgeon, chances are slim you would seek employment as a brain surgeon. You get the drift…

If you make a personal skills resume that lists the issues you have encountered in others, and the skills you developed to manage and survive life around these issues, you will likely see a trend. You tend to migrate towards people with issues that you have the skills to deal with. There is likely a discomfort when a person presents a new set of issues for which you have no skills.

WARNING: Issues seem to have a brain of their own. If you are highly skilled in dealing with a particular issue, people with this issue will know you are a “friendly” and they will seek you out. I chronicle in my book, “Amazing Love” how I had to quit being a friendly to the disease of addiction in others.

In instances where issues from others have caused major intrusions into our lives, forcing us to spend an inordinate amount of time using our skills, we became experts. As an expert we tend to invite the same level of problem so we can use our skills.

Here’s the kicker – after you are aware of your skills and the situations in which you use them, you can know if the new people you invite in are packing the same baggage based on the skills you use.

I shared my personal skills resume in my book if you want to see an example. It details the issues I encountered and the skills I developed to survive them. I also explain how I trained myself to recognize when I was using a skill. This helped me to move people out quickly if they weren’t part of my plan to become a 2%er.

Two major decisions are being made in the background like an app running in the background on your smartphone. You know it’s there; it sends you notifications, but you don’t really know all that is happening in the background. You’re getting needs met and choosing people without fully understanding how and why.

Let’s get those decisions into the foreground. Being aware of your needs and examining your responses to people, is the first step in making changes that have the potential to dramatically impact your life for the better. I did this for myself and yes – it’s in my book.

A new skill to develop when you meet a new person, is to keep the jury out on them until you find out all that is “wrong” with them. People will tell you quickly – believe them when they do. It’s easy to live with what’s good about a person – it’s their issues that have the potential to unhinge your life.

Peace out beautiful people – always remember, it’s never too late to stop doing the wrong thing, and serenity, courage and wisdom are yours for the asking.

If you want to ask questions, suggest topics, or share your story my email is lifeasa2percenter@gmail.com I am also available to speak to groups both large and small.